You never meet anyone worth knowing in a club. Not from where I’ve been anyway, slimy turkish dudes buying me and my friend champagne…….

• no i will not have sex with you just because you bought me a drink
• i will drink the drink however
• i shall get drunk on the drink, yes
• but you are still ugly therefore
• no sex for you

i need to find some bars and clubs that aren’t full of essex reemo chavs.